Live Like a Spartan : Cut Your Own Hair

Going to get a haircut is an inefficient time-waster.

You have to drive to the salon
you have to sign in to reception
you have to wait for a stylist
you have to explain what you want (and they never truly understand)
you have to get your hair washed (the only enjoyable part)
you have to put up with small talk about whatever nonsense is happening in pop-culture
you have to put up with them not doing it right the first time “no, it needs to be shorter so I don’t have to come back for a while“
you have to look at it in two mirrors, then style it, then finally give it the A-OK
you have to pay and then you have to pay extra (a tip) for them doing their jobs
you have to drive back home with an itchy neck and an itchy back
you have to take a shower and change clothes

All in all you’ve wasted at minimum an hour.

Now let’s look at the Spartan way to cut your own hair:

buy some clippers for the price of one haircut
cut your hair in the bathroom
sweep up the mess
take a shower
go kick some ass

How to Cut Your Own Hair

Step 1: Buy Some Hair Clippers Here. All hair clipper sets will come with different length hair guards that can cut your hair at any length you so desire. Most of them come with facial hair trimmer attachments as well, so you can rest assured knowing you can trim your beard and your hair with one apparatus.

I picked up my clippers at Walmart several years ago for about $25 and have been using them ever since. Of course, I have lost most of the guards so I only cut my hair in two lengths: short and really short.

Step 2: Dive right in and cut your hair. One of three things will happen:

1) You will like the haircut.

If you like the D.I.Y. haircut you can skip the stylist forever.

2) You will do a poor job, panic, and drive to a stylist to fix it.

Better luck next time. Try again until you get it right.

3) You will have to shave it all off.

If you decide to shave it off you don’t have to worry about doing anything to your hair for months. Keeping a shaved head saves time on styling and saves money on shampoo and hair gel. With a shaved head you’re ready to walk out the door at any time of the day or night without doing anything to your hair. Win win.

Step 3: Clean up the mess, sweep the floor, take a shower. I usually put a stopper in the sink and cut my hair into the sink, when I’m done I can just scoop the hair out of the sink and throw it away.

Some home haircut tips to remember:

Cut against the grain.
Keep pressure on the clippers, if you hold them delicately they will not cut your hair even.
If you don’t want to do it yourself you can have your girlfriend, your mom, your sister, your best buddy, your wife, or your brother cut it for you.
It’s just hair, it will grow back in no time. If you make a mistake you won’t even notice it in a week’s time.
Dry hair is easier to cut with clippers, wet hair is easier to cut with scissors.

Cutting your own hair is just common sense. Pick the length you think you want and test a section first. If it looks good, go over the whole area. If you want the top longer than the sides then just use a different guard for the top. Use the naked guard to trim the hairs on the back of your neck. A second mirror will come in handy but I almost never use one (can’t be bothered to go and buy one) and it always turns out fine. Hair stylists go to haircut school but I have taught girlfriends how to cut my hair in less than 5 minutes. It is just about the easiest thing in the world and my home haircuts turn out better than paid haircuts 100% of the time.

Recap:

Home haircuts save money.
Home haircuts save time.
Paid haircuts cost money.
Paid haircuts are a waste of time.
Cutting your own hair makes you look cool 112% of the time.
Self-sufficiency, DIY, no BS.
Save that money, save that time.